Thursday, November 17, 2005

How To Divorce Gayly

Well, it's official. He's REALLY moving out. While I'm away for Thanksgiving next week, he'll be staying here watching Bandit and will pack up the rest of his stuff and officially move out.

Wow! It's so odd...a bit surreal. I found out all this last night. He babysat Bandit all day while I had a tour-de-force 14-hour work day (hence the no writing on the Blog). When I came home we talked. It hurt in a way. Yet I knew it was coming, just one more step closer to closure. It isn't an easier. There were tears shed on both our sides.

I think one of the reasons that makes this so hard is we still like each other. I said this to him last night. If we hated each other it would be easier. We could heal and vent in our anger but we have little resentment toward each other. In fact, we went out for Chinese afterward before I dropped him off at his "apartment". Talk about a gay divorce! You probably think I'm crazy. I can just see me on Dr. Phil or Oprah and the audience lambasting me...ripping me a new ______.

I got a Blog comment the other day that essentially said, 'why did you get married if you knew it was on the rocks?' Excellent question. And I have to point out two things. One of which a good friend, whom I mentioned the other day, said: It's almost as if we had to exhaust all options...to try everything in order to make it work; the final being marriage. The second point, we really were married, in a non-ceremonial way, about 12 years ago when we met. When we moved to the west coast together in 1994, that was commitment, that was a "marriage". We had no legal way of tying the knot back then - being gay and all - until Massachusetts legalized it in 2004. Of course there were other insurance and legalities in the equation too. If gay marriage had been legal in 1994 not 2004 we would have been committed...we were committed. It just sort of dissolved over the years.

I started a new part-time job yesterday. I'm excited about it! It's 100% commission based sales which I've never done before but have always secretly wanted to do. It's for an infomercial/television production company that is literally two minutes - not even - from my current, full-time office. So yesterday I spent the day toggling between the two offices as I couldn't miss the first day of training for the new job yet had important projects and deadlines to kick-off at the other. Nonetheless I'm technically on "vacation" from my full-time job this week while I go through training. It's a tough time because for my full-time job we were all off the other day at the seminar I mentioned (aka DISC assessment...which was a lot of fun by the way) and then I'm out next week (half of Tuesday and all day Wednesday) to go to Florida for Thanksgiving (we're closed on Thursday and Friday). And of course there's a lot to get done. But I'll do it.

So today and tomorrow are full days at the new place. No toggling! I need to focus. What's great about the new place is the flexibility. They're open 24/7, 365 days a year. So I can basically make my own hours which won't interfere with my full-time commitment. If I want, I can work 4 in the morning till 7:55 and then roll down the hill and get to "real work".

Oh, I did send the weatherman a follow up e-mail. He didn't respond. I'm not surprised. Now that I think of it, I probably wouldn't respond either. Well, I should hit the shower. Talk soon!

Rick

P.S. Bandit went back to bed. What a life!

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