This is a bit of an odd Thanksgiving post. It's not very thankful.
Today I'm not going to post about delicious meals and fanstastic times with family and friends. Nor am I going to site the virtues of my gratitude or mull over fond Thanksgiving memories. Not that there's anything wrong with writing something like that -- I've read some excellent Thanksgiving posts today -- but I feel like writing about something different. I'll risk being a bit of a whiner.
If you're an avid reader of BanditTalks you're probably used to my complaining. So here goes the...
Today is November 23rd. It's 2006. I'm 40 years old, divorced and living with my sister. I work hard yet I'm still not where I want to be in life nor where I thought I'd be years ago.
"What!?!? Millionaire! Hot body! New car? Rick, how ungrateful of you to be talking about such greedy wants on a day of thanks!" I can hear it now. "You have a great life! Who are you sh*tting?"
Well okay...I am certainly grateful for all I have. I could certainly be worse off and for all I do have I am happy but in all honesty, 10 or 15 years ago did I think I'd be where I'm at today? No.
My point is is that sometimes we (or at least I...I should only speak for myself) fall short of expectations. Are you where you thought you'd be 10 years ago? In 1996 did you expect to be doing and having what you have today? All right, I'm not going to get all mopey and depress the crap out of you while you've just got through extolling the virtues of thanks with your loved ones and are sitting with a stomach full of turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes escaping to the family computer for a breather. It's just that sometimes we just out and out aren't where we thought we'd be. There's nothing wrong with admitting it. It helps us move on. Purge! Okay, not too much purging we don't want Aunt Bee's blueberry pie all over the keyboard.
If I look back to where I was in 1990 or 1996, did I plan on being divorced and starting all over again? Did I think I'd be spending 40-50 hours a week in a cube? Did I think I'd be living with family because I had to sell my house? Did I think I'd still be living in the same area I grew up in?
Okay now I'm getting depressed. I should have kept to writing about being grateful. There is truth to dwelling on the positive isn't there?Of course today I'm not where I thought I'd be. Perhaps very few of us ever realize all our hopes, dreams and aspirations. Or perhaps they just take a lot longer than anticipated. Now that I think of it. Where I am at now is probably where I thought I'd be around the age of 29 or 30.
Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm just 10 or 15 years behind. Alas at 60 I'll finally have that hot body!