Thursday, November 23, 2006

An Ungrateful Thanksgiving Post...What a Selfish Little Sh*t!

This is a bit of an odd Thanksgiving post. It's not very thankful.

Today I'm not going to post about delicious meals and fanstastic times with family and friends. Nor am I going to site the virtues of my gratitude or mull over fond Thanksgiving memories. Not that there's anything wrong with writing something like that -- I've read some excellent Thanksgiving posts today -- but I feel like writing about something different. I'll risk being a bit of a whiner.

If you're an avid reader of BanditTalks you're probably used to my complaining. So here goes the...

Today is November 23rd. It's 2006. I'm 40 years old, divorced and living with my sister. I work hard yet I'm still not where I want to be in life nor where I thought I'd be years ago.

What happened to being a millionaire by the age of 40? Having my mortgage paid off. Living in a fantastic home and driving a new car. And having a hot body. What about being virtually retired?

"What!?!? Millionaire! Hot body! New car? Rick, how ungrateful of you to be talking about such greedy wants on a day of thanks!" I can hear it now. "You have a great life! Who are you sh*tting?"

Well okay...I am certainly grateful for all I have. I could certainly be worse off and for all I do have I am happy but in all honesty, 10 or 15 years ago did I think I'd be where I'm at today? No.

My point is is that sometimes we (or at least I...I should only speak for myself) fall short of expectations. Are you where you thought you'd be 10 years ago? In 1996 did you expect to be doing and having what you have today? All right, I'm not going to get all mopey and depress the crap out of you while you've just got through extolling the virtues of thanks with your loved ones and are sitting with a stomach full of turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes escaping to the family computer for a breather. It's just that sometimes we just out and out aren't where we thought we'd be. There's nothing wrong with admitting it. It helps us move on. Purge! Okay, not too much purging we don't want Aunt Bee's blueberry pie all over the keyboard.



If I look back to where I was in 1990 or 1996, did I plan on being divorced and starting all over again? Did I think I'd be spending 40-50 hours a week in a cube? Did I think I'd be living with family because I had to sell my house? Did I think I'd still be living in the same area I grew up in?

Okay now I'm getting depressed. I should have kept to writing about being grateful. There is truth to dwelling on the positive isn't there?

Of course today I'm not where I thought I'd be. Perhaps very few of us ever realize all our hopes, dreams and aspirations. Or perhaps they just take a lot longer than anticipated. Now that I think of it. Where I am at now is probably where I thought I'd be around the age of 29 or 30.

Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm just 10 or 15 years behind. Alas at 60 I'll finally have that hot body!

8 comments:

Steve S said...

Happy Thanksgiving Rick, I hope yours gets better.

It's my understanding that having that fancy home, a million dollars and a sporty new car doesn't guarantee happiness, although I can't say if that's actually true, I've never been in the situation to know. :-)

If it doesn't guarantee happiness then at least one can be unhappy with style?

I probably could have had that sort of pampered life, years ago, if I had chosen a different path, the means were before me, but I turned from it because it would have meant the closet. It's a long story, but I think you get the gist of it. I could see that in my situation at least, wealth wouldn't have brought happiness.

You have Bandit. You have a sister who loves you, you have health, you are good looking, you have a lot going for you. Don't let anything get you down today, you have what's important, the rest is just window dressing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Steve S said...

I guess what I mean to say is that you might not have the expensive stuff, but you have the priceless stuff.

Joshua said...

I feel you Bandit :)

Anthony said...

We all feel that way sometimes. " why am I only here? In my life dreams I was supposed to be 'there' already". but life rarely works out that way. Be happy you have your health and your family, everything else is just filler...

Spider said...

Rick - I know the feeling - I just wrote on my blog today... "It still amazes me the twists and turns lives make - it all made so much sense and the direction was so clear when I was sitting in that cold college dorm room 29 years ago..." maybe this is the way it is supposed to be...

My suggestion, go get Bandit, give him a big hug and cuddle in on the sofa with a good book - that is what Hampton and I are going to do...

Take care my friend - Happy Thanksgiving...

Charles said...

I hear yeah! I'm not where I thought I would be. Still, it's not entirely bad.

Maddog said...

I feel your pain. I'm 41, owe a million dollars in student loans, had to cash in retirement this month to pay rent, don't have boyfriend and am 100 pounds overweight. But I try not to let those things define me. My friends and family don't love me because of what I have and am. If they did, I'd be 100% on my own.

That being said, it's okay to feel this way every once in a while. It's what motivates us to get a better job, lose weight, etc. Keep your chin up. These feeling will pass and you'll feel like yourself again in no time.

Donnie said...

Well Rick, I hear ya loud and clear. Just remember the quote from Robert Frost, "And miles to go before I sleep".