Monday, February 12, 2007

Sunday in the Park with Rick

Bandit here! Hoo hum...looks like Dad's having a little more confidence in my writing and is allowing me, once again, to guest write on his Blog. Should I be so lucky...

I thought I'd share with you today a sort of day in the life. A bit of a snapshot, if you would, of my Sunday in the Park with Rick.

Yesterday, Daddy took out my seatbelt harness which means only one thing: Going for a ride. I get very excited about these little road trips for usually on the other end, there is some fun involved. However, this seat belt harness thing is a bit new for me and I never know quite what to do to allow my Dad to put it on me. As a result of my confusion, I roll over on my back and put my paws up in the air. Dad tells me this doesn't make it any easier for him to put in on but how am I supposed to know what to do. The thing looks like it's right out of one of those crazy sex catalogs that Dad gets. I just play dead and let him manipulate and contort me till he gets the damn thing on.

Finally, into the Volvo we went, me sitting in the passenger seat next to my father. After listening to Daddy sing Dreamgirls songs for about 20 minutes I started to recognize our destination. We happened to be going to Uncle Rob's! When we pulled up to his condo complex my tail was wagging and my was mouth watering in anticipation for the treats I knew I would be receiving.

Up the concrete steps to the grand foyer of the Victoria building. Normally we ring and wait for the buzz but this time Daddy had a key. Strange. Then instead of immediately heading up the first flight of stairs, we stopped on the first floor and went down a short hall that I'd never been down before. What's Daddy opening the mailbox for? I let it go.

Then back up the two flights of stairs we went to Uncle Rob's place. I bee lined it for the door. Now normally, from our ring, Uncle Rob is expecting us and leaves the door open. This time I had to sit quivering, crying and wagging my tail outside the door till Daddy took his sweet time finagling the lock not without dispersing a few curse words at the apparent complexity of Uncle Rob's security system. Then, finally, we were in. I ran through every room of the house. No Uncle Uncle Rob! What is this a bad joke? Is my Dad being cruel? Finally after noticing my disappointment Dad went to Uncle Rob's stash and gave me one of the treats that Uncle Rob is famous for as well the ball that I love to play with. Oh, this must be what he meant by 'let's go feed the fish.'

I tossed the ball around for a bit but Dad wasn't as engaging with it as Uncle Rob. "Bandit, leave me alone. Can't you see I'm busy."

"Busy checking out the men in Uncle Rob's stash of fitness magazines."

"I am not...I'm learning new exercises."

"The hell you are, you horny old goat!"

After Dad fussed with the goldfish and lamented about how to write a note to Bob that his frog died, on his watch, we headed back down stairs for a walk on the beach.

With a cool breeze off the Atlantic blowing in my face, who comes along but a distant cousin. Actually this thing could have been my great great grandmother for all I know. She was grey, like Toto (my other distant cousin), old, slow and huge! I mean huge! She had to have been forty pounds. I'd never seen a Cairn Terrier so big in my life. My Dad stopped and chatted with its owner. Apparently the old bitch was pushing 14 and had just suffered a stroke about a month ago. She waddled along and sniffed my private. I thought to myself, Grandma don't you go near that thing. I could tell Dad was on the verge of telling the owner off: That excessive weight gain was ultimately at the root of her stroke but that would have made the owner feel even worse and at least Rick wasn't rude enough (that's a rarity) to go there.

"Bandit don't you ever get that fat!" Daddy said to me as we left Grandma Toto and her equally robust owner behind.

"Don't worry. With the measly pickings you give me -- one cookie at Uncle Rob's -- I won't be."

"C'mon let's jog."


Spider said...

Sounds like a wonderful Sunday to me... thanks for filling us in Bandit!

Maximus Leo said...

Horny old goat eh? I would too if you post a hunky guy with six packs of abs to die for!! :-)

Sorted said...

Glad you are well Bandit. I, too, have a Volvo and Star loves to take rides in it.

Donnie said...

Sounds like a wonderful Sunday, Bandit! I'm glad you're not overweight....we want you around for a long, long time to "guest blog" for Dad.