Friday, March 09, 2007

You've Got to Get This...

Another round of catalogs came in the mail today; this time only seven. That's a light load.

Filling the mailbox when I came home were two Eddie Bauer, two LL Bean, one Vermont Country Store and a few other of what I call 'junk catalogs'. These are from lesser known companies that sell all the necessities of life like ducks dressed as gnomes for the garden, plastic bowls shaped like avocados and chili peppers, a musical toilet paper dispenser, plastic banana slicers and crust cutters for your bread.

Living here for nearly 9 months, I've finally come to realize why this house gets so many of these catalogs, literally 7-10 a day. Why? Not only did the deceased person that previously lived here ordered this stuff non-stop - as I was told, she was on first name basis with the FedEx, UPS and Postal Service guys - but also my sister's a junky for this stuff too. Often times we'll get duplicate or even triplicate catalogs. What a waste!

Occasionally, while waiting for the laundry to dry or killing time before dinner, I'll flip through these comic books and sure enough I'll spot something in them that I've seen around the house. For instance, the salad spinner. Throw your lettuce in this plastic contraption, cover it with the lid and the pull the string on the side. Reminds me of starting a lawn mower but apparently the salad spinner removes the dirt from the lettuce by whisking it to the side. Personally, I'd rather give it a good wash under the sink but to each his, or her in this case, own.

In these catalogs, you'll find something for everyone. There are the plastic seamless incontinent panties, the "forget about Viagra...have him try this!" pump listed in the back, the plastic cracker holders and of course the personal "massager" for those tough to reach spots. If anything, you get a good laugh.

3 comments:

Donnie said...

LOL! I love mail-order catalogs! I'm a sucker for 'em.

Sad thing is, my sister in Chicago has the goose and all the holiday outfits. :) Even sadder, we sent her the holiday outfits!

Rian said...

I love to browse through those catalogs from time to time. But I only get like 3 in a year.

How was I ever able to live without a plastic banana slicer?!

Maddog said...

I love catalogs. They seem to be a thing of the past for me thow since the internet has become so popular. I'm jealous that you still get them.

As for the salad spinner. I love mine. It's not so much for dirt as to get the water off the lettuce when you are finished washing it. I have never seen one with a string though. Mine has a crank on top.