Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sick and Tired

Yesterday I took the day off. I had a scratchy throat and an ear ache, no not Swine Flu. I used the time to get some writing done and managed to submit a short-story. While writing, I made the mistake of keeping one of the computers logged into the office, not a good idea.

I know I shouldn't have felt guilty for being off but I did. And what didn't help were people sending emails, "I know you're sick but we have a tight deadline...Are you calling into the meeting?" Not what I needed to hear. Finally, I shut it off.

I get so down about work sometimes. I feel like there's just no end in sight. It's constant. I can't even take time off and when I do: 1) I feel guilty and 2) the work just continues to pile up.

I like my work. There are elements of creativity; I feel good about the detailed analyses and making improvements. Yet I need focused time in order to do them well. At my desk, there are way too many distractions. I find the only time I get things done is in a conference room -- probably why I have so many meetings. Maybe I'll schedule time with myself, lock myself away.

I like being good at what I do - we all do - but when there's so much to do it's hard to be good at any thing. And quite honestly, I'm tired of working 50-60 hours a week just to do a fair job.

Next week, I'll be going to Disney World. Yeah! That will be a welcome respite. Then off to see my Mom for Thanksgiving.


Michael Rivers said...

I hope you feel better soon! Especially before your trip. I always feel guilty about taking time off from work too. I need to change that.

Your work really called and asked if you were going to attend the conference call? Yikes.

A Lewis said...

You're not going to like your work much longer if it is, as you call it, CONSTANT. No one is designed for that. Why ruin it for yourself? Make the big divide! Divide and conquer.......separate the church from the state. Quiet, private time should be exactly that. If you're not good to yourself, you'll be good to no one.

Sean said...

When I found I was being distracted from my work by work, I established some rules. Only check emails every 3 hours, same with vmail, when I was visiting stores, I was not to be interrupted unless it was an emergency but most importantly I made it a requirement that you couldn't presented me with a problem unless you had at least one solution/plan of action (no matter how bad).

It took work to implement but it worked and ultimately improved the productivity of my staff.

madtexter (corey james) said...

Sometimes, you just have to shut everything down and walk away from your desk for a while. Over time, I've found it's much easier for me to say "NO!"

And if they don't like it, it's their problem. An employer who runs their employees ragged will soon lose those employees to someone who values them more - the competition.

Lemuel said...

I am sorry to read that you are not feeling well. Best wishes for a speedy recovery - especially that you will be feeling much better in time for your trip.

I must confess that I do not miss the work environment that you describe. When my company downsized in the spring they did me a huge favor. It did not seem so at the time, but I had put in my 40 years and I was old enough, so I no longer have to put up with that crap. It is unfortunate that the American culture and economy is such that it fosters the kind of pressure that you are feeling. I can only imagine how much more creative and productive you might be if you did not have to put up with that.

tornwordo said...

Feel better! Guilt is useless, now repeat after me.

Anonymous said...

All truly successful people are so because they have learned to balance their life(work/play). You created a monster by letting work make you feel guilty about not being there. You need to ween them back to knowing they can live without you for a day...or a lunch break if you are working through those. What your have done is build an unhealthy work relationship. Take your breaks, and your time off that's what it's there for. It will only make you a better person and employee. You have trouble setting boundaries. Start small with lunch breaks...you will find it's refreshing and actually helps a lot.

Ur-spo said...

indeed, get well soon and don't push things other than fluids.

Charles said...


Sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well. Hopefully by now you are feeling better.

I love feel pretty good about my job. I get to come and relax. Sure I come home with work on the mind but after awhile it all melts away. Unless, it's something major.